Mark 的个人资料Mark's space照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
|
9月11日 life on the "2" list. Hello kids. I am beginning a new phase in my life. This is the phase I have titled "life on the "2" list. This can easily be explained...I am on the heart transplant list as a class 2. That means that my situation is not incredibly urgent. Virtually noone gets transplanted off the two list. The listing goes as follows...1A urgent (really sick) 1B needs to be on full time IV medications and spend alot of time in the hospital.. And 2 which is functional and controlled with medications. As I become sicker, I will be upgraded to one of the other lists as that is the procedure. I am totally okay with this as I am not incredibly sick at this point and I would really hate to take a heart from someone else who is sicker and really needs it.
Mary made the trip yesterday to mayo with me. We expected alot of answers, and we got some, we also still have some questions. Things should pretty much settle down to normal for awhile. I will be going camping and all the stuff i did before. I will eventually become pretty sick, but that is quite a long way off. I have God on my side, and he has given me the grace and the peace to get through this. I am fully prepared to meet him, but it doesn't seem to be his plan at least for now. I truly trust in God and am willing to go where he sends me.
On a lighter note, I am now able to drive. All of you little ole' ladies who got me ramped up while I couldn't drive, I have your liscense plate numbers written down. When God said "do not retaliate for vengeance is mine," I interpreted it that he will deal with them on a personal level. As a good servant of God's I am going to help him by sending the offenders his way. Just kidding. Prayer is a gift, not a weapon let us all please remember that.
I have heard so many times "I'll pray for you" used as a weapon or an insult. Jesus loved us so much, that he came down here personally to show us (among many other things) how to pray. If I say I'll pray for you, it is because I will. I don't have to like you and you don't have to like me, but we cannot love God unless we love one another. I am listening to my own words, because I still am holding on to some bitterness from my past. We all have it but how we deal with it defines who we are. What will my legacy be? I want people who know me to know that I am going to go to heaven when I die. I don't want there to be any doubts. There is only one way to get in, and that is through accepting Jesus as your lord and savior. Some people think that being nice is enough, or giving money to charity, or helping a homeless guy eat for one night. The truth is that there will be many nice people who do not go to heaven. There will also be many "beleivers"in hell, because again we cannot save ourselves. I am writing this because if you have been invited to read this, I want to see you in heaven. I have not become some kind lf nut who only wants to preach, I am very much the same joker i was. The main diffrence is that my faith has just exploded. I pray for you all and i love you all.
How many almish does it take to change a light bulb??? think about it.
Lastly I want to thank LL who went to the alter for me sunday and received annointing for me. That is a huge undertaking and It only increases my love and respect for him. Please keep Mary in the girls in your prayers. This is so hard for them. I am still here, but I can't really do alot right now and that is really tough on them. I think it is the hardest on Mary, as she sees how things really are with all of this, and she is very confused right now. There is no definite direction for all this, you just live day to day and hope tomorrow can be better than today. God bless you all and all prayers are appreciated. Look at all of the names who get this update, pick one you don't know and pray for them...Love you all Mark
 9月6日 life update sept. 6 Hello all, I have so much awesome news so hold your breath and dive in...
I have an answer to prayer to start off, Devin, the neice of my christian friend in wv has given birth to a beautiful healthy baby boy. He is 7lb. 6oz. with dark hair. That is all I know for now but his safe and relatively pain free arrival is an answer to prayer. Thank god for this boy and praise God for bringing him into this world safely. I will post his name as soon as I hear it. Many people were asked to pray for momma and this baby, and the lord has answered. PRAISE GOD!!!
I just arrived home from a lunch with a great friend in Christ. He reads this and he knows who he is. He was a benchmark for me in my christian walk and a person who I wanted to be like as I learned to walk in god's footsteps. I am afraid I talked too much about this heart thing and not enough about how he is doing. We will do lunch again and i will keep my mouth shut and listen this time. I learned so much about how to love other people around him and hope to keep this in the forefront of my renewed walk with God. Man I am so on fire right now I am walking on air and cannot stop praising God! I did not post his name because we all should be inspirational to others. Maybe it will be you next time or me...God has a plan for us all, Are you ready? I am.
I also received news that I am to go to the Mayo clinic to meet with the transplant surgeon, the transplant coordinator, and the vampires. (the official title is phlebotomists) Blood draw techs. This set of appointments is scheduled for Monday Sept 10th. It should not involve me getting shocked or anything fun like last time. I am hitching a ride with my loveley wife mary. She is going to drive me up there and hear what the docs say so If I try to tell a story, she can interrupt me and correct me. And she will......but heck I love her and she can sort pills. Not to mention she is currently my only source of income. Geez, life stinks!!! Just kidding. Mary has signed on for the long haul and has been just the person I needed to get our family through this. God does not make mistakes in matters of the heart. I'm sure Mary is saying what??? I can only hope to repay her for getting our family through this tough time. I'm sure she will demand payment anyways...Mary, I love you.
Hey, I want you all to say a prayer for pastor Timothy Tinker. He is in Kansas City, and trying to get healthy. Whatever his body does to him, his mind keeps God in clear focus and lets him lead the way. Tim when you read this, know that i am going to call you soon and I Love You.
Lastly I want to thank you all for the emails and calls. Sitting here day in and day out with nowhere to go really stinks. Today is the first day I have been out of the house with someone other than my family. It was a little scary for me but I made it through with the lord's help. If any of you have had or do have anxiety problems, I am so sorry. I will be praying for you. This is a horrible thing to deal with and It really knocks you down. Just know that you will always have a friend in me if you want to talk about it. I really have a compassion in my heart for you, and I pray to God every day to make this go away. But God wouldn''t have given it to me if I didn't need it to do the work he has set aside for me. I love you all and I will update soon. Please keep the correspondance coming and know I am praying for all of you. GOD BLESS Mark
9月5日 midweek report.sept. 5 Hello, all here is the midweek update... I have had a decent week so far, I have been home over a week, and things have started to calm down. I had a small anxiety issue yesterday, but it passed with no major drama to speak of. I am starting to adjust to the heavy dosages of the meds I am on and don't feel quite so bad all day long.
I am making progress in other aspects of my life as well. Especially my spiritual life. God is doing something big here and i caution myself to be still and listen. I have been re-united with old friends and some new friends all through the power of prayer.
I heard from the Mayo clinic transplant service, and they confirmed on tuesday that i will indeed be listed for transplant. (we already know that, but it sounds more real hearing it from the service) I praise God for that, but I still think he can fix the heart i already have.
I know he has it in his power and if that is his will, he will do so. It is times like these where you really learn to trust God. I have been told that i am pretty much done working until I get a new ticker, but I think diffrent. Something big is coming my way and I just know God is bringing me what I need to provide for my family. He has never let me down no matter how many times I have dissapointed him.
If anybody out there wants to send me a million dollars, I will give 100,000 of it to the chruch, and the rest to god. (he will know my account number) Just kidding, kind of. Mary has done alot of looking into our finances and things are going to be tight for awhile. The disability should kick in and make the first payment in february 08' ( if i am approved) but i know that God will see us through this and give us what we need to make it. I will not accept anything less or more than prayer for my family and that is where we are truly rich. I talk so much about God because this relation or rather this level of relating to him, is new to me. He truly has allowed me to grow closer to him by the adversity and health concerns I now have. I will rise in the morning and praise his name and continue until I sleep at night.
As always, please pray for Mary and the girls. It is really hard for them to see me like this, but they have been very brave. We have had a few good cries together and even some arguing, but we have grown closer and that is worth everything to me. Our marriage has grown stronger as has my relationship with the girls. Our friends have been wonderful and understanding and have been there to offer assistance @ every step of the way. I would be remiss if I didn't thank Patricia McVeigh (mary's mom). She has come and sat with me every day so far and made sure i am eating and basically babysitting me. (I can shower on my own thank you very much.) But god has used her in so many ways over the years to keep me in contact with him until I can stand on my own. I also want to send my love out the family @ ODFL. From the local DSM service center to the entire United States network of terminals. What a pleasure it is to work for a company who encourages christianity. It is time to let this digest so i willl end this for now. PRAISE GOD IN ALL YOU DO ! I love you all, MARK 9月2日 update for the lord's day... Good sunday to you all. The biblegateway.com verse of the day is Psalm 119:64/ "The earth is filled with your love, O LORD; teach me your decrees." I really feel that love today. he has brought me so far in the short time since my return home from Mayo. I have gone 3.5 days without an anxiety attack and am able to spend more and more time on my feet. God is so good to me. I just want to be normal again, and I feel I am headed back to the new post-heart attack version of normal, which really is not a bad life at all. I am able to do things and go places with my family. I do not have to be attached to an oxygen bottle, or IV and with the exception of my pill intake I am not much diffrent from a healthy guy. I know God is to thank for this. But here on earth, each one of you has played a role in this journey. Every one has been there at the right time. I feel that God is using this to draw us all into a big family. After all, that is the goal right?. I have connected with people from my childhood all the way to people i have met in the hospital. People i have abandoned to walk alone while i took the easy road. People who I dragged away from a good relationship with the lord. People who only wanted to love me and be a faithful friend, the very same people who are praying for me right now. That is God and how he works. All of you have lifted this brother up in prayer and friendship. I have some beautiful music playing as i write this, i only wish you could hear it. If anyone knows how to incorporate music into a myspace site, tell me how and i will share it with you all. I hope you guys dont see this as depressing, because I am so excited right now. I feel okay I love God and I love you all. Please pray for pastor Tim Tinker. He needs our love and prayer right now. Some of you dont know who he is, but He is a great man in the lord. His only desire is to serve God and love everyone, especially the oddballs....we all know who we are. I will end this now, because i could deliver a sermon right now. Praise God and let him love you. That is his only desire to be with us and all we have to do is ask him into our hearts and he will be there. He will hear your when you confess you are a sinner and forget all. He will give you a clean slate and fill you up with something indescribable but awesome nonetheless. I love you all and pray for you. Mark 8月30日 thursday's update. hello, all how are things today? I had a pretty bad anxiety attack last night, but my loving wife Mary talked me through it. It is pretty intense for anyone who has never been through it. It feels like you are having a heart attack. The only thing you can really do is pray and try to put your mind somewhere else. It is pretty scary though. On to better things. Today has been a much better day. I was able to get around the house alot more. I spent alot more time on my feet and was even able to help prepare our dinner. I am still losing weight, about 3 more lbs over yesterday. I need to drink more fluids and stay pretty steady on my food intake. My blood sugars have been going very well since they took me off the diabetic meds. I still have a long way to go before I can be normal, but with God's help we'll get there. Please continue to pray for mary and the girls. She has really been going through a tough time trying to keep everything together through all of this. I hope some things can return to near normal soon and we can get on with loving and living. The girls are doing well in school and have been riding their bicycles to and from school everyday and say they are enjoying it. Caitlyn gets most of her homework done at school and Jordan usually brings some home. Tomorrow is friday and I hope to take a small trip out of the house on saturday. I am not sure what to expect with what is going on with me but I think I should do okay. The medications are still hammering me pretty good but I seem to tolerate it a little more every day. The docs say it usually takes about two weeks for my body to adjust. I have about 1 and 1/2 weeks to go. I will continue to fight for all that God has set aside for me. I want to get better and scream his glory from the mountaintops. I am gonna go for now so God bless and I love you all. MARK 8月29日 home at last hello all today is going to be brief. I was discharged from St. Mary's hospital yesterday (tuesday) and am now at home in Des Moines. I am feeling very poorly as they are trying to double my dose of Coreg. It has a nasty effect on me and it is hard to take. However, my heart needs this medicine to maintain its shape until I can receive a new heart. I am told after about 2 weeks I should begin to feel better. I really hope so. I am still praying for all of you, and I will continue to fight for my health. God is not finished with me yet and I am not going to quit on him. He has brought me this far and he will get me through. God bless you all. Mark 8月26日 mayo inpatient 2 well howdy there gang, happy Sunday to you. the biblegateway verse of the day is romans 12:4-5. It is a beautiful scripture and should mean alot to all of us. I could describe it, but you will get more from reading it. Sunday is the lord's day and really wish i could get to church, but God reminded me that he is in my heart and I don't need a building to love him. It is also a very special day because Mary and the girls are making the trip up here to see me. I think i will even take a shower today. Unfortunately I cannot shave...Oh well, I guess I will just have to keep my legs covered. (that was a joke...get that look off your face) I dunno, maybe i can get a razor up here, they shave everything else in here, why not my face. Seriously they shaved areas that they didnt even work on. (only my lovely wife will know for sure i am telling the truth). I am in a pretty ornery mood today, and not feeling too poorly. I am beginning to adjust to the heavy medications they are "loading" onto my system. It makes me slightly lightheaded, but It should greatly reduce the chances to get a defibrillator shock. There is a chance that I might escape this joint early to mid week this week. I have a few appointments to wrap up for the transplant work-up. Among them is the psychological evaluation (NOT A WORD FROM ANY OF YOU!!!). It has no bearing on my eligibility to receive a transplant, I just think they want to feel good about themselves because they aren't the only nutz out there
 . I have gotten my sense of humor back and most of the anxiety issues from the shocks have gone away. Prayer really has helped me even when I was getting shocked I began praying and that helped alot. I miss all of you and hope to see you all soon. My family is in for a rough stretch for a little while so your prayers for My wife and Daughters (and me) will be greatly appreciated. Have a great sunday and take a minute to say hi to God. He is waiting for your call and I promise you will never receive a more exuberent welcome. God really does love us all and he knows what is in our hearts so put down pride and selfishness and humble yourself and just let him love you. Have a great sunday and enjoy yourself and your families. TTFN Mark8月25日 mayo inpatient. well hello gang how are you today? I seem to have stabilized for the time being, and the docs are tweaking my meds. The meds make me feel pretty rough, but so does getting shocked. I guess i will tolerate the meds. I am excited for tomorrow, Mary and the girls are coming to see me. The Gordons are going to bring them up so they can get my truck and drive it home. I know any one of you would have offered and many of you have offered, so this is not a popularity contest. Every one who reads this has helped in the past and will be of great help in the future. So please dont be offended if I dont ask. I have to try to do as much for myself and for my family as I can and some see that as pride but to me, it is simply living. I love all of you and the proof of that is the fact that you are reading this blog. You have been invited to read this public account of my life because I think you are special. I have become closer with God than I ever have because all of you are praying for my health and soul. I am thankful for all of you and i hope to be home and somewhat normal very soon. I have been very blessed to be reunited with the Renner family from back home. It means alot to me to communicate with people who know my whole family and history (good and bad). I hope to get well enough to travel back there soon and see everyone. Please keep praying for me and my family, this is gonna be a rough time for us, but the prayer and the love of god will get us through. love to you all and I'll try to be more of a joker next time. 8月24日 outpaiient updated hey all, i am updating my status from outpationt to inpatient. Most of you know this by now, but i have been re-admitted into the mayo clinic. I was undergoing the treadmill stress test and i received a total of 7 shocks from my defibrillator. oooooooooooohhhhhhhh that stings. I have been admitted so electrophysiology can decide how best to not make my heart that mad. The term is ventricular tachacardia. Basically it is an electrical tornado on the scar tissue surface of my heart. These high speed impulsed eventually find live tissue and dive in making the living area of my heart very angry. The next step is my heart goes on a run and caused big problems. without corrective measures (usually a shock by pacemaker or paddles) there is only one outcome... but I have the pacemaker so i have built in assistance...hence the shocks. I guess the next course of action is to increase the dosage of my anti-ahrrythmia medication. If that is not effective, the next step is called ablation. this is an extensive and lengthy procedure where the ep guys go in through a catheter and map out the electrical signals (the bad ones. they have to make my heart mad to do this) on the surface of my heart. When the problem areas are located, the surface of the heart is then "ablated" or burned with a laser. this creates a "fire break" on the surface of my heart. 8月21日 mayo outpatient update. Hello all, I have escaped the clutches of the mayo clinic inpatient service, only to return as an outpatient. I am up here for some additional testing which will help the transplant team decide my candidacy for a new heart. After one day of testing, I dont have the best of news. When I had my original heart attack in 2005, I had the misfortune to be awake and fully conscious when a lifesaving shock was administered (nurse give me the paddles...STAT!) WOW than is gonna leave a mark! Anyhow back to the story...when they shocked me I bit down so hard that i basically destroyed the roots of almost all of my teeth! What this means today is those dead teeth have deteriorated to the point that they are going to have to come out,as they pose a potential risk for infection, which I will have no immunity to fight. I will be on heavy doses of immunosupressants to reduce the risk of rejecting the new heart. I guess Mary had better stock up on the sugar-free jell-o. hahahaha.. the good news is that I will have the best smile on all of the heart floor. I wonder if i could get a set of teeth with a bunch missing so when everyone throws those inevitable "WV hillbilly" jokes my way i can give them that million dollar smile. Just kidding, I am proud of my home state and her natural beauty. I am still praying for a miracle, but God's will is my priority. I hope he is going to use my life as a living testimony to his greatness. If not, I get to go home. This is the classic "win win situation" you really can't lose. I will continue to update the blog and keep you all posted on progress and events in the future. In the meantime, I am praying for all of you and I know you are praying for Mary and our daughters. God bless you all and good day. MARK 8月19日 mayo weekend update hello everyone. Greetings from Des Moines. I made it home thursday evening and verbally coached Mary on how to hook up the camper properly. She did a good job and off to the campgrounds we went. It was a weekend full of some discomfort and stiffness as my surgical site is still fresh. There are no stitches to hold things together, only steri-strips, which is a strong medical tape. This meant I have to be extra careful so that I don't open any incision sites. I was very careful this weekend so I did not make matters worse by moving too fast. The nice thing about the weekend is that I was with the people who I love the most and have been the closest to me throughout this whole heart saga. ( some were actually closer than they thought) Without them, life would really be empty for my family. Special thanks to the Gordon's, and the Peek's for all the help offered and provided thoughout this whole journey. Anyhoo, the weekend went well and I feel that I have taken large steps toward recovery and getting on with living well. I have a busy week ahead of me as I have a blood test here in Des Moines monday and back to Mayo (outpatient) for testing on tuesday and wednesday. I then return to Des Moines for some appointments on Thursday. If you have been praying for me, please continue to do so, especially for Mary and the girls. This is harder on them than it is on me. Another prayer request: The Transplant board meets Monday to decide my candidacy for transplant. I am hoping to get onto the transplant list so that I can watch my girls grow up and become women. Last but not least, I was not the best Christian I could be this weekend so I aploogize to all who witnessed my actions. I have prayed for forgiveness and vow to work harder and do better for my faith and my family. God bless you all and look for my next update. 8月15日 mayo day 6 well, gang this is day 6... i am still here but i will be getting out tomorrow. But first lets recap today. I was awakened at 0700hrs by my nurse telling me that they were ready for me in the catheter lab, so I had to get up and get undressed and put on that sexiest of all appearal the backless hospital gown. we loaded me onto a gurney and away we went! I arrived at the staging area around 0745 and was promptly set up and prepped for surgery. They wheeled me into the o.r. @ 0815 for what i thought was going to be a quickie. Oh boy was I wrong. First of all they don't put you to sleep fully for this particular procedure so how bad could it be right? I prayed for god's will to be done in that operating room and left it in his hands. They cut me open around 0830 and the party really started. As i mentioned I was wide awake and the sound of the scalpel cutting into me was very interesting. I did not feel it so that was okay. once they got in, they found that the wire that needed to be moved had scarred in so it could not be removed so they unplugged it and put in a new one and waited another half hour for an adapter so the now wire could be hooked into the pacemaker generator. The surgery finally ended around 1330hrs and I was wheeled into recovery. It was uneventful as they pretty much just monitor you while you wait. I was brought back to my room @ 1430 and made "comfortable" and allowed to eat some lunch. I am in some pain at this writing, but not to be ecpected. Someone came by and set up some outpatient appointments for tuesday and wednesday next week but the evaluation committee will be meeting monday to decide on my candidacy for transplant. The good news is that I will be going home for my birthday and much needed camping with loved ones. TTFN, MARK8月14日 mayo day 5 well, all here we are wrapping up day 5 @ the mayo clinic. I got the test results back from yesterday and all was bad. Which is good. Remember bad means i go further up the list...So day 5 started out of the gate like a raging bull but fizzled really quickly. I had my test for the day done by 0915 and came back to my room anticipating breakfast. When you begin to anticipate hospital food you are in trouble. But alas I was asked to wait...the procedure (invasive) scheduled for tomorrow they thought maybe we could squeeze me in today. you guessed it...no food!!! so finally @1430 they realized it was not gonna happen today and allowed me to eat my lunch. I was thoroughly hungry by then and road kill would have looked good at that point. The road kill (in the form of roast beef with all flavor roasted completely out of it was brought up and i ate like a starving person savoring every bite. It was during that feeding frenzy that everyone and their brother decided to stop into room 268 for a chat. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! I patiently took deep breaths and coughed at the appropriate times and just waited for the one person brave enough to even look at my remaining lunch. Nobody had to die today thankfully and eventually i was left in peace to devour the scraps ( the flavor could be described by removing the "s" in scrap) but I did receive my nourishment. so that is my day to this point. Oh yeah they took blood twice today also. ya gotta love the vampires. you are up to date. TTFN, MARK 8月13日 mayo day 4 well, everyone day 4 is wrapping up or winding down. However you choose to see it is fine with me. today was a rather painful day but with God's words in my heart i got through it. The day started @ 0600 with anticipation of getting the test done and being back for lunch. They finally came @ 1330 all this time with nothing to eat or drink. I then spent a riveting hour in the prep room listening to a woman air out all of her complaints to anyone who would listen (and those of us who chose not to also) The procedure began @ 1430 and went rather quickly. They inserted a catheter into the right side of my neck and threaded it down into my heart to have a look around. In the meantime, they distracted me by inserting a HUGE needle into my left wrist through which they threaded another catheter to check blood oxygen pressures.  it is at this point where the grace of god really came in handy as i assumed they would wait for the numbing meds to kick in. They did not. Ah well I lay back and tried not to cry like a little girl and i think i was reasonably sucessful in that endeavor. I am now back in my room. it is 1840 and i am awaiting dinner. God again has prevailed and brought me through yet another test so that i can face tomorrow with a clean slate. See ya'all tomorrow, MARK8月12日 mayo day 3hello there, this is day 3 at the mayo clinic. minimal testing has ocurred with the normal blood testing being undertaken here. I really miss my family. It is difficult knowing the nearest hug from my daughters or wife is 3 hours away. I am trying to stay positive in here, but i have had some difficult news. I have been taken off the diabetic medication and have done well, my blood sugar has dropped to 121 which is very good. I have been praying alot and getting close to god and really have benefited from the prayer going up on my behalf and i have been praying for others. Tomorrow will start a very strenuous week of testing with bookings all day. I have to have a right and left catheter procedure on my heart where they go in through my neck and down to my heart to have a look at what is there. will keep it updated. 8月11日 mayo clinic updatehey all, here i sit all broken hearted...no really my heart is broke or really dysfunctional. so here i am in rochester,MN @ the mayo clinic. this is the best care i can possibly be getting and i am very appreciative that God would choose these hands to place me in for deliverance. I am asking for prayer for mary and the girls. Please sent a knee mail to God if you can spare a minute. 1月20日 Basketball. Hey today is the big day. Basketball season begins for the girls. I hope to have updates with pics tonight. the week was not bad, pretty busy @ work. 1月14日 update for sunday 14,January.well, the weekend is finally drawing to a close. It has been a busy one. We statrted with a basketball clinic Saturday and went shopping in Ankeny after that. Sunday I went to work from 0545 until around 1300. I then came home and spent the afternoon getting the snowblower ready our first snowstorm of the year. Then I wound things down with some football (a.k.a. a nap in front of the tv.) anyway this will help fill the space until camping season rolls around. I have been reading emails and sending them for about the last hour just trying to relax and burn off my last bit of energy before bedtime. All in all it has been a good weekend. I really enjoy being busy. I dont really like t sit unless there is a campfire invloved.ttfn. Mark.
1月11日 update for 11 jan 2007 I dont know how my picture got there. I just read the directions and they appeared.  work is done for the day, one to go till the weekend. Is it camping season yet???1月10日 update for 10, Jan 2007So this is how you blog huh? okay here is my blog. today is 10, January 2007. I just returned home from work and decided to check this thing out. Life is not that interesting this time of year for me. Camping season doesn't start for several months so I guess i will have to tolerate the boredom until around memorial day. My daughters are however preparing to start their basketball season so that will take up some time on saturdays. I enjoy watching their games. The kids try really hard and seem to learn plenty as the season progresses. That will be worthwhile entertainment until near the end of winter when we turn to warmer weather and preparing for camping season . |
|
|
