Hey friends, family, and anyone in between, how are you? I know, I know, it has been over two weeks since I have visited with you, and I will share my reason shortly. The fact is, since I last wrote not much has happened, but it has been very stressful, nonetheless.

     Everything had been going so well. No rejection through 4 biopsies (five now) and rehab was, and is going great. I have been feeling great, and becoming more and more physically active. I can feel new life coursing through my veins. I even got to come home to visit my church family. So, you ask, where is the stress in that?

     Each time I have blood drawn for lab work, I also have a chest x-ray. Well, about two weeks ago, now, a spot was found to have developed on my right lung. UH OH!  The stressful part of the whole thing is that that piece of news was delivered by (this is only my personal opinion) a person who is completely unqualified to be interacting with patients. It was delivered with insensitivity and a complete lack of compassion. I was given a "worst case" scenario, of what it could be and that the docs would like to get a CT scan ASAP.  I try to not hate people, and even try to understand cultural differences. I really don't hate this person, I just feel that not everyone has what it takes to interact with others, especially, when it comes to delivering news that could change a person's life.

     Some or even most, of the people reading this are in the medical profession, or personally involved in the transplant process. Having said that, it is a fact that after the physical trauma of the transplant, there is emotional trauma that has to be dealt with. There are so very many emotions that have to be dealt with in order to live at peace with the wonderful gift of the life we have been afforded. There is the extreme elation that comes with the organ, the promise of a healthier future that comes with it. There is the sadness that is inevitable, for the donor and his/her family, and their loss. There is the issue of knowing that your life will never be the same, as "normal" takes on a new definition. Even the most well balanced person is bound to have an adjustment period. I described all of that, to say this. It is a time when emotions are highly charged, and fueled by prednisone, which turns some of us into irritable, emotional crazies looking for a time and place to snap. So needless to say, any questionable news is going to have an adverse effect on a person in my state of mind. (don't go there)

    I did a lot of worrying, praying, and not telling anyone what was going on. Not to be brave, but because I didn't have any idea of what to say? The doctors say the spot is too small to be concerned about. If it is bad, it has been caught incredibly early. In all probability, though, it is nothing to be concerned about, my excellent doctors aren't concerned, and they tell me not to be concerned either.

     I didn't just sit on the news. I talked with my family, some close friends, and my transplant mentors in Georgia. I even went to the transplant center and demanded a moment of one of the transplant cardiologist's time (which was willingly given).  But, as my "mother in Georgia" said to me...(talk about your tough love :) ) I gave it to God for about 5 minutes, and took it right back.

     We quote scripture and verse, to comfort others, but when it is us in the hot seat, we want to do the worrying ourselves. She lovingly told me to put it on the altar, and leave it there! So I shall.

    You are up to speed, and I will keep you posted on everything in the future. I have another CT scan on October, 2 to evaluate whether or not it has grown or changed in the last two weeks. When I know, you will know. In the meantime, I have appointments Tuesday for labwork, and other routine stuff. Don't be surprised if you hear from me again in the next couple of days, as I get back into my regular format of good times, bad jokes, and spiritual sharing. Feel free to tell me how selfish I have been by not asking for prayer over this situation, as I made a decision for you all that I had no right to. We are all family, and that has to include both, the good, and the bad. So please pray for me, and my family, as I enter my last month of rehab in Rochester. God bless, you all. I love you all.

      I do have a special request. I have a heart friend who has been a great source of laughter and encouragement to me throughout all of this. I have not requested permission to use a name, but God knows all about this person. I am asking for urgent prayer as some problems have arisen and are causing the new heart to not be allowed to function to its full potential. I ask that anytime you pray for me and my family, you include this person as a part of that prayer. God hears prayers, I am living proof of that. Join me in lifting my friend up, please, and thank you.

    Howdy buds, and how are you? I am doing well. Tuesday's biopsy results were revealed to me on Wednesday. All of my blood tests were normal, I continue to lose weight, and thrive. Oh, yeah, the biopsy results...another ZERO. Praise God. He's so good to me. (that is a hymn) But wait, there is more! I am sitting at my house in Des Moines right now. Yep! you heard me right. The doctor decided that since things are looking so well, that, I could go home for the weekend. He also cleared me to drive. I took full advantage of his momentary lapse of reason (a pink floyd album) and skedaddled. Mary drove to the Iowa state line, and I took over from there, completing the trip home. Actually, he told us on Wednesday that I could come home, but we stayed an extra day to squeeze in another cardiac rehab session. I did a cardiovascular ride on the stationary bike, and did 6.5 miles in 30 minutes. I continue to feel God's blessing as he heals my body, and strengthens my faith.

     We learn a lot about ourselves, by looking back. But, we cannot live in the past. Take a look, enjoy the memories, learn your lesson, and grow. If you will permit me, I want to briefly share what I learned about myself.

     I am a strong man. What makes me strong? People like you, the readers, who have sent warm wishes, prayer, and top notch medical care.

     I am a weak man. I allowed my condition to shake my faith at times, to the point of questioning God's plan for me. As time continued marching on, and I grew sicker, and weaker toward the end, I asked God, "why would you let my daughters grow up without a father, as I had to do?" I tried to bargain with him. "God, if you let me live, I will go out and witness to all, on your great miracle in my life." All the while, I continued to write about how everything had to be in HIS timing, which is perfect, not mine. I believed what I wrote, but I questioned if his plan was to call me home, rather than heal me. After all, as a Christian, I believe that even death is the ultimate form of healing. But I didn't WANT to die. I wanted to live! Why is it fair, that people who don't even acknowledge God receive the gift of life? "Be still, my son, and wait!" I wanted to not only be healed, but to remain here on Earth. "Be still, my son, and wait."There is only one problem with that... it was MY will. "know that I love you, and your family, your friends, and the people you are going to introduce to me in the future." He has it all planned out. He knows what he wants to do in, not only my life, but the lives of everyone. "I knew you before you were born."

     He has been there the whole time. That is why I look back. God is right here in front of us all, but sometimes we have to look BACK to actually see him. But here is the kicker...Faith teaches us to believe in what we cannot see. I say this, though, If you cannot see God everywhere, you simply aren't looking. We are looking for a man, who looks like us. We are not looking for the birds. Perfectly made for the task of their lives. The trees, and plants, every one of them serving a different, but nonetheless perfect role in nature. Still don't see him? Look in the mirror. Not at yourself, but the eyes you are looking through. Evolution? The human eye could never have evolved to it's present function in the time of human existence. Google the human eye, and prepare to be astounded. God is everywhere. If we evolved from apes, why are there still apes?  Why monkey around with creation? I respect your opinion, but I have the distinct advantage of having met God. I have never met an ape.

     I am not an authority, or an expert. I have never been on a dig, where an ancient man was unearthed, and proves that we actually are monkeys. I am simply sharing my belief. I believe a perfect God, with a perfect plan, in perfect time, created, in me, a perfect miracle. He healed me, and then he sent me a new heart.

    God bless, and all my love to each of you.

                                                          Mark