hello, all how are things today? I had a pretty bad anxiety attack last night,  but my loving wife  Mary talked me through it. It is pretty intense for anyone who has never been through it. It feels like you are having a heart attack. The only thing you can really  do is pray and try to put your mind somewhere else.  It is pretty scary though. On to better things. Today has been a much better day. I was able to get around the house alot more. I spent alot more time on my feet and was even able to help prepare our dinner. I am still losing weight, about 3 more lbs over yesterday. I need to drink more fluids and stay pretty steady on my food intake. My blood sugars have been going very well since they took me off the diabetic meds. I still have a long way to go before I can be normal, but with God's help we'll get there. Please continue to pray for mary and the girls. She has really been going through a tough time trying to keep everything together through all of this. I hope some things can return to near normal soon and we can get on with loving and living. The girls are doing well in school and have been riding their bicycles to and from school everyday and say they are enjoying it.  Caitlyn gets most of her homework done at school and Jordan usually brings some home.  Tomorrow is friday and I hope to take a small trip out of the house on saturday. I am not sure what to expect with what is going on with me but I think I should do okay. The medications are still hammering me  pretty good but I seem to tolerate it a little more every day. The docs say it usually takes about two weeks for my body to adjust. I have about 1 and 1/2 weeks to go. I will continue to fight for all that God has set aside for me. I want to get better and scream his glory from the mountaintops. I am gonna go for now so God bless and I love you all.  MARK 

      hello all today is going to be brief. I was discharged from St. Mary's hospital yesterday (tuesday) and am now at home in Des Moines.  I am feeling very poorly as they are trying to double my dose of Coreg. It has a nasty effect on me and it is hard to take. However, my heart needs this medicine to maintain its shape until I can receive a new heart. I am told after about 2 weeks I should begin to feel better. I really hope so. I am still praying for all of you, and I will continue to fight for my health. God is not finished with me yet and I am not going to quit on him. He has brought me this far and he will get me through. God bless you all. Mark

 

     well hello gang how are you today?  I seem to have stabilized for the time being, and the docs are tweaking my meds. The meds make me feel  pretty rough, but so does getting shocked. I guess i will tolerate the meds. I am excited for tomorrow, Mary and the girls are coming to see me. The Gordons are going to bring them up so they can get my truck and drive it home.  I know any one of you would have offered and many of you have offered, so this is not a popularity contest. Every one who reads this has helped in the past and will be of great help in the future. So please dont be offended if I dont ask. I have to try to do as much for myself and for my family as I can and some see that as pride but to me, it is simply living. I love all of you and the proof of that is the fact that you are reading this blog. You have been invited to read this public account of my life because I think  you are special. I have become closer with God than I ever have because all of you are praying for my health and soul. I am thankful for all of you and i hope to be home and somewhat normal very soon. I have been very blessed to be reunited with the Renner family from back home. It means alot to me to communicate with people who know my whole family and history (good and bad). I hope to get well enough to travel back there soon and see everyone. Please keep praying for me and my family, this is gonna be a rough time for us, but the prayer and the love of god will get us through. love to you all and I'll try to be more of a joker next time.

     hello everyone. Greetings from Des Moines. I made it home thursday evening and verbally coached Mary on  how to hook up the camper properly. She did a good job and off to the campgrounds we went. It was a weekend full of some discomfort and stiffness as my surgical site is still fresh. There are no stitches to hold things together, only steri-strips, which is a strong medical tape. This meant I have to be extra careful so that I don't open any incision sites. I was very careful this weekend so I did not make matters worse by moving too fast. The nice thing about the weekend is that I was with the people who I love the most and have been the closest to me throughout this whole heart saga. ( some were actually closer than  they thought) Without them, life would really be empty for my family. Special thanks to the Gordon's,  and the Peek's for all the help offered and provided  thoughout this whole journey.  Anyhoo, the weekend went well and I feel that I have taken large steps toward recovery and  getting on with living well. I have a busy week ahead of me as I have a blood test here in Des Moines monday and back to Mayo (outpatient) for testing on tuesday and wednesday. I then return to Des Moines for some appointments on Thursday.  If you have been praying for me, please continue to do so, especially for Mary and the girls. This is harder on them than it is on me. Another prayer request: The Transplant board meets Monday to decide my candidacy for transplant. I am hoping to get onto the transplant list so that I can watch my girls grow up and become women. Last but not least, I was not the best Christian I could be this weekend so I aploogize to all who witnessed my actions. I have prayed for forgiveness and vow to work harder and do better for my faith and my family. God bless you all and look for my next update.

       well, gang this is day 6... i am still here but i will be getting out tomorrow. But first lets recap today. I was awakened at 0700hrs by my nurse telling me that they were ready for me in the catheter lab, so I had to get up and get undressed and put on that sexiest of all appearal the backless hospital gown. we loaded me onto a gurney and away we went!  I arrived at the staging area around 0745 and was promptly set up and prepped for surgery. They wheeled me into the o.r. @ 0815 for what i thought was going to be a quickie. Oh boy was I wrong. First of all they don't put you to sleep fully for this particular procedure so how bad could it be right? I prayed for god's will to be done in that operating room and left it in his hands. They cut me open around 0830 and the party really started. As i mentioned I was wide awake and the sound of the scalpel  cutting into me was very interesting. I did  not feel it so that was okay.  once they got in, they found that the wire that needed to be moved had scarred in so it could not be removed so they unplugged it and put in a new one and waited another half hour for an adapter so the now wire could be hooked into the pacemaker generator. The surgery finally  ended around 1330hrs and I was wheeled into recovery. It was uneventful as they pretty much just monitor you while you wait. I was brought back to my room @ 1430 and made "comfortable" and allowed to eat some lunch. I am in some pain at this writing, but not to be ecpected. Someone came by and set up some outpatient appointments for tuesday and wednesday next week but the evaluation committee will be meeting monday to decide on my candidacy for transplant. The good news is that I will be going home for my birthday and much needed camping with loved ones. TTFN, MARK

         well, all here we are wrapping up day 5 @ the mayo clinic. I got the test results back from yesterday and all was bad. Which is good. Remember bad means i go further up the list...So day 5 started out of the gate like a raging bull but fizzled really quickly. I had my test for the day done by 0915 and came back to my room anticipating breakfast. When you begin to anticipate hospital food you are in trouble. But alas I was asked to wait...the procedure (invasive) scheduled for tomorrow they thought maybe we could squeeze me in today. you guessed it...no food!!! so finally @1430 they realized it was not gonna happen today and allowed me to eat my lunch. I was thoroughly hungry by then and road kill would have looked good at that point. The road kill (in the form of roast beef with all flavor roasted completely out of it was brought up and i ate like a starving person savoring every bite.  It was during that feeding frenzy that everyone and their brother decided to stop into room 268 for a chat. YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME!!!! I patiently took deep breaths and coughed at the appropriate times and just waited for the one person brave enough to even look at my remaining lunch. Nobody had to die today thankfully and eventually i was left in peace to devour the scraps ( the flavor could be described by removing the "s" in scrap) but I did receive my nourishment. so that is my day to this point. Oh yeah they took blood twice today also. ya gotta love the vampires. you are up to date. TTFN,   MARK 

  well, everyone day 4 is wrapping up or winding down. However you choose to see it is fine with me. today was a rather painful day but with God's words in my heart i got through it. The day started @ 0600 with anticipation of getting the test done and being back for lunch. They finally came @ 1330  all this time  with nothing to eat or drink. I then spent a riveting hour in the prep room listening to a woman  air out all of her complaints to anyone who would listen (and those of us who chose not to also) The procedure began @ 1430 and went rather quickly. They inserted a catheter into the right side of my neck and threaded it down into my heart to have a look around. In the meantime, they distracted me by inserting a HUGE needle into my left wrist through which they threaded another catheter to check blood oxygen pressures.  it is at this point where the grace of god really came in handy as i assumed they would wait  for the numbing meds to kick in. They did not. Ah well I lay back and tried not to cry like a little girl and i think i was reasonably sucessful in that endeavor.  I am now back in my room. it is 1840 and i am awaiting dinner. God again has prevailed and brought me through yet another test so that i can face tomorrow with a clean slate. See ya'all tomorrow, MARK

hello there, this is  day 3 at the mayo clinic. minimal testing has ocurred with the normal blood testing being undertaken here. I  really miss my family. It is difficult knowing the nearest hug from my daughters or wife is 3 hours away. I am trying to stay positive in here, but i have had some difficult news.  I have been taken off the diabetic medication and have done well, my blood sugar has dropped to 121 which is very good. I have been praying alot and getting close to god and really have benefited from the prayer going up on my behalf and i have been praying for others. Tomorrow will start a very strenuous week of testing with bookings all day. I have to have a right and left catheter procedure on my heart where they go in through my neck and down to my heart to have a look at what is there. will keep it updated. 

hey all, here i sit all broken hearted...no really my heart is broke or really dysfunctional. so here i am in rochester,MN @ the mayo clinic. this is the best care i can possibly be getting and i am very appreciative that God would choose these hands to place me in for deliverance.  I am asking for prayer for mary and the girls. Please sent a knee mail to God if you can spare a minute.